we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
