I'm so fucking centered right now
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
