In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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