She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
