In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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