im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
