I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
