just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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