O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
