When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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