I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
