Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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