We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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