M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I yelled at your uterus for you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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