woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
