Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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