Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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