Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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