just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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