Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
