Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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