Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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