I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
