Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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