Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
