i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
