I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
