So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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