i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize