Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
