No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
