You just made me feel so damn special
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
