i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
