I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i drank out of a bidet.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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