Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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