i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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