He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
