She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
