They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
