did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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