The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just found puke in my bra..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
