we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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