I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
