i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone came in the potted fern
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
