Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
