it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
