READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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