plz talk dirty to me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
