I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is this like a preordered booty call?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
