If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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