WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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