ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
